4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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