i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
