She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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