what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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