I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
