I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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