THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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