i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
