im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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