I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That accounts for only three of the penises
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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