Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
