That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I believe in your delicious
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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