she smelled like a LAN party
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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