I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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