Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
