woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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