Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
