VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
