I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
