end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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