Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
