I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
