I must be too annoying 4 u.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
