It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
be right there i have to get my cape
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
