My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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