he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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