I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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