I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
