im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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