Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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