im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
