I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
