Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
