No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
