Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
