I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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