She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
