he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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