This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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