FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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