What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
