No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
