Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
