maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's never too late to be topless.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
