Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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