The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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