No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
