so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
its liver damage thursday
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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