It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize