I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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