that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
