and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
